I don't know about y'all but I am getting tired of doing stuff for people and going unnoticed. AND NO that's not why I do things for people but if I am going to drag my sick a$$ out of bed and do something for you LAST MINUTE and then weeks later your "professional friend" gets a Thank you plastered all over FB and couldn't of done it without you kind of note, I just don't understand that kind of friendship, if that's even what you want to call it. I have never been one of those that needs a public thank you and with this person especially not, because she is very private but it really hurt my feelings knowing what all I have done (not just this one thing) and never get a thank you. She expects me to share everything about my life, my health, my family issues, crazy family members issues, don't deny it..... we all have them but when it comes to her, she only shares a tiny bit. So I guess what I need to do is the same with her. It's like a freaking roller coaster ride and I'm getting worn out and I want off. Friendships should not be like this. They shouldn't be so hard, you shouldn't have to work so hard at them...marriage...yes....friendship....NO!!!!!
I think this lupus is really screwing with my brain and emotions. I try so hard to be a good friend and it just bites me in the butt every time. That's one thing about having a chronic illness you don't really have a lot of true friends, or I don't anyway, if you do, you are blessed and should be thanking God for them every single day. My daughter and my husband are my best friends. My mom seems to be coming around and understanding how serious this is and what I live with each day, of course that could change tomorrow, lol. I know it's hard for healthy people to understand what we go through and I appreciate when they try.
I really don't know what to do, I wonder if I am the only one that struggles with stupid issues like this. Is it me, am I being petty, do I have a valid reason for being upset? I just don't know. I feel like I have ignored my other "good" friends for this one friend and that makes me feel really bad. I have some great friends that love me and would do anything for me and what do I do, hardly ever call them or see them because I reach out to this one friend because she is like me, she has similar health problems and I feel connected to her that way. Oh, what have I done? How in the world can I fix this? Maybe I need a break, concentrate on myself, my house, my husband, my kids, my family, try to keep busy in the house with small projects I've been wanting to do. Try to distance myself, see how that works, see if I am really a true friend or not.
